My name is ‘Amani’.  I come from Isiolo County and I am a Turkana girl. We live as pastoralists and that means we move from one place to the other often. Over the past few years we found land here and we settled down.

My father is a herdsman and he spends most of his time out there looking after our cattle. My mother looks after us at home when our father is not around to ensure we go to school and are fed.

Kenya's ASALs support more than 30% (approximately 12 million) people, 50% cattle, 70% sheep and goats, and the entire camel population (SRA 2003). It is estimated that the livestock sector provides almost 90% of employment and more than 95% of family incomes in Kenya's ASALs (FAO 2004).

One day we went to school, as we had just settled and were on our second lesson of the day. We were asked to go home since the police officers were in our home area and there was conflict again.

From the conversation among our parents and teachers, I understood that the Turkana had raided the Samburu’s cattle and they started fighting over it. The police came to stop the fight but they were shooting all over the place. They didn’t want to understand there were children present and those that they were looking for were not here at home either.

We ran away, we ran to the mountains because there was no place to hide from the police since they randomly opened fire at anyone they thought was a suspect and they killed our people.

I remember hearing the bullet passing on the side of my face near my ear. Luckily I was not shot but some of my friends and family members were shot and some died even young children. My mother was hurt but we kept moving into hiding.

We spent the night outside in the cold, hungry and scared, so the following morning we returned home to try and find food. To our shock we found the police who were fully armed and they had army tanks that could shoot even to a long distance.

We had to run into hiding again. We spent the night out in the cold with no food again. As a young girl, I was scared. What if something bad happens to me? What if I got lost from my family? What if the police shot me? What if the wild animals ate me alive? What if the elephants we saw earlier attacked us?  What if I lost my father, mother or sibling since we were not all in the same place? What if they found me and raped me like I heard of what happened to other girls and women?

 I still have nightmares of what happened. I get startled when I hear loud noise, bangs or screams. I always fear, the police will come back to the village to kill us again? I am scared of the army tanks. I remember how It burnt down houses in our village and killed people.

I am always scared of the police because of what they did to us yet the people who raided the cattle were out there in the grasslands. I am terrified of the army tank and I don’t want to see it again. I am a girl who lives in fear of what next or what if it happens again? Will I be spared? Will I make it alive or unharmed? Will I achieve my dreams and goals of being a doctor so that I can treat wounded and sick people?

I miss my friends who are no longer here to play with me. I wish I could stop living in fear but what can I do? I am only a child; I am only a small girl from this village.

I hope it will come to an end and the government stops them from hurting us. I wish for the days I will sit in class peacefully and not think of this experience that forced other children not to want to come to school again just because they are scared of the bullets.

Source:  ‘Childhood On A Thread’ a documentary by Mtoto News

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